The Ghost of ABC Family Christmas Movies Past
Nothing says winter more than Christmas rom-com movie marathons – cuddled up on your couch with a warm blanket and even warmer hot chocolate. The eternal question when you’re ready to pick a flick is usually: Hallmark or Lifetime? But, what if I told you that you've been sleeping on a subsection of amazing, made-for-TV, Christmas rom-coms this whole time? That’s right, I'm challenging you to open the time capsule, dust off your cable subscription, and delve into the ABC Family Original Movie back catalog!
While many know ABC Family by its newer, edgier, re-branded name: Freeform, some of us still remember the glory days of The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Pretty Little Liars, and the underrated, gone-too-soon, Jane by Design (co-starring rom-com royalty, Andie MacDowell). Even some of those who relish in scripted series reruns don’t know that ABC Family was churning out high-quality, camp Christmas films every year with stars like Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Chad Michael Murray, Jenny Garth and Tia Mowry.
I specifically want to single out the two major offerings of 2007: Holiday in Handcuffs, starring Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez, and Snowglobe, starring Christina Milian.
Holiday in Handcuffs follows a down-on-her-luck diner waitress who, after her boyfriend dumps her, takes a successful architect hostage to her family's remote rental cabin for Christmas. Melissa Joan Hart as Trudie expertly plays up the black-sheep-artist-of-the-family shtick while she takes fake-dating to a whole new (criminal) level just to get her family off her back for a few days. Mario Lopez as David turns up the charm (and steam in one, particularly memorable bathroom scene), so he can survive this convoluted arrangement and make it back home to his soon-to-be fiancé. It’s a strangers-to-lovers, forced-proximity slow burn that satisfies even the harshest of holiday cynics. Highly recommended if you enjoy: quick-witted banter, wound-too-tight family dynamics, and ice skating sequences where, even with wideshots and editing, you can’t help but think, That body double looks nothing like Sabrina the Teenage Witch!
Snowglobe takes a decidedly more magical stance on familial and romantic relationships. Angela, played by Christina Milian – giving her best performance since the “AM to PM” music video – is tired of her loud, overbearing family getting in the way of her perfect Christmas. That’s until she gets sent a mysterious snowglobe that transports her into the cheery town at its center every time she winds up the music box. There she finds a perfect ice skating rink, a perfect oven that spits out perfectly cooked turkey every time she opens it, and the “perfect guy” in snowglobe inhabitant Douglas Holiday. But, what if “perfect” isn’t all it’s made out to be? Things only get more complicated when Angela starts getting close to Eddie, her cute new neighbor in the real world. Highly recommended if you enjoy: a fantasy element to your rom-coms, cheesy-but-sweet dialogue, and ideas for new Christmas cocktails (try Eddie’s Christmas Tree on Fire – eggnog with your choice of cinnamon schnapps or cherry brandy).
These movies are still, to this day, part of Freeform's 25 Days of Christmas Lineup, which includes holiday heavy-hitters like The Santa Clause and the Home Alone franchises, so you know these Originals have stood the test of time - and for good reason!
Both films are high-concept rom-coms, yet, somehow, amid their wild plots, they still manage to encapsulate the totally baffling and utterly charming way falling in love around the holidays can make you feel. Sure, most of us won't kidnap a stranger with an antique gun just to have a date for Christmas dinner, nor will we get trapped inside a snowglobe with no means of escape, but, hey, it’s 2020, so never say never! In the thick of it, we can all relate to familial pressure, holiday craziness, and the calm that comes with finding someone special to share those moments with. (Plus, we all agree that Mario Lopez's dimples are the gifts that keep on giving!)
I was eleven when these films aired for the first time. I remember sitting down in the family room with my mom, queueing them up on the Optimum DVR, and getting swept into the wonder of their wacky, romantic tales. I’ve watched them both nearly every Christmas since because, for some reason, I just can’t seem to shake the warm, fuzzy feelings they bring me - the true hallmark (see what I did there?) of a great rom-com.
While the DVD combo pack may run you a pretty penny on Amazon (a whopping $49.99), there are plenty of other ways to catch these films this holiday season. Snowglobe is available on subscription services, Disney+ and Hulu with Live TV, as well as for rent on Amazon Video. Holiday in Handcuffs may be harder to view. You can purchase it via Amazon Video, but otherwise you’ll need Hulu with Live TV or a log in for Freeform’s on-demand content.
At the end of the day, why don’t you just take a page out of the 2007 playbook? Check the 25 Days of Christmas schedule online, make a date with your cable box, and watch these movies as they were intended to be viewed – airing live with lots of breaks for holiday shopping commercials and hot chocolate refills!
Timothy Janovsky is a queer, multidisciplinary storyteller from New Jersey. His work as a humor writer has been featured on Points in Case, The Broadway Beat, and Well Mannered Grump, and his work as a playwright has been showcased in staged readings at Muhlenberg College. His fiction short story debut was published by Voyage YA Journal. He is currently working on an #ownvoices romantic comedy novel. Learn more at: www.timothyjanovsky.com or on Instagram: @timothyjanovsky.