Boys can watch Rom-Coms too!
““That’s a chick’s movie.””
I love you, Sam, but no, it is not only a chick’s movie. Although filmmakers will have women in mind when making rom-coms, it does not mean they must be watched only by women. Chick-flicks, can be more than just that.
It is not a misconception, nor is it necessary to conduct research to make the following bold statement: Boys are not rom-com’s biggest fans. There, I said it. But hold your horses, I am not saying this applies to all men. Put down the sexist whistle now. Put it down. I mean, hello, the men who star in those films surely watch them too, right? They have to, they must. Well, okay, maybe not all do (looking at you, Mr Hugh Grant!).
There seems to be this stigma around men admitting that they watch this wonderful and truly impactful genre (no sarcasm intended, only love). You must have heard it from your boyfriend, guy friend, father, uncle. You must have detected the shame in their voice when they confess to having watched a rom-com, that “yeah I watched Maid in Manhattan…but J-Lo is hot, isn’t she?” I mean yeah she is. But admit it, you enjoyed the cheese overload the film exudes.
If we really think about it, many genres we do not usually associate with romance are secretly love stories covered with some action and thrill. Don’t believe me? Okay, well, how about this? The Terminator. A classic sci-fi action film with a love story at its core. Kyle and Sarah must fall in love so that the future of humanity has a chance. Star Wars. Princess Leia and Han Solo. Enough said. And The Lord of the Rings, that is the biggest love story, I mean we have all kinds of love. We have love triangles, elf-human love, elf-dwarf love, Sam and Frodo, hello! And perhaps the strongest love story: Gollum and The Ring. The list can go on. Basically, romance is important in films and many have some elements of it at the very least. Love is universal and whether you accept it or not, humans like to see that on screen (even if in disguise).
We often downplay the quality of rom-coms, which is why they are often dismissed, especially by the male audiences. But many fantastic rom-coms have been made, and are still waiting to be made. Sure, there have been some rather terrible rom-coms, but I don’t want to name and shame *cough* Fool’s Gold**. I couldn’t even get past 10 minutes of it, and I sat through two of the Fifty Shade films (not my proudest moments). But every film genre has good and bad days so all I’m saying is, guys, don’t judge, there is more to rom-coms than you think. For instance, you can learn about relationships, about friendships, about humans. The, ‘what not to do’ (don’t kiss your partner’s sister, that is always a no no) and the ‘what to do’ (you shall tell your girlfriend you like her just the way she is).
By the same token, you can learn about how society, literature, films, TV shows, have influenced how we view love and our expectations of it, which can be quite dangerous. I think it is important to be aware of the toxicity that is present in this genre. Although I love rom-coms, as I have grown older, I have realized that it can have a damaging effect. Certainly, this can be with everything we are exposed to in our life. However, I would like to think that over the recent years this has been addressed in rom-coms. They have become more self-aware and in fact have used this knowledge as a tool in the narrative. For example, 500 Days of Summer demonstrates how the genre’s characteristics are being subverted and challenged. Not all rom-coms are cheesy and even if they are, it does not mean they are not of quality. If the story is good, it should not matter what the genre is.
It is also important to accept rom-coms for what they often are: a form of entertainment and escapism. Rom-coms can offer the viewers comfort and familiarity. It is really no different than watching a horror from which fulfills the viewers with that familiarity and comfort, except that it comes from fear. Whilst it seems I am comparing two wildly different genres; they both serve the purpose of entertaining and they both draw repeated viewership even though they pretty much adhere to genre tropes. It seems that there is more “tolerance” to watching certain genres more so than rom-coms. Perhaps it is time for men to accept that they can get emotional comfort too, that it is not any less “masculine” to watch these feel-good films.
So all I’m saying is really, there is nothing wrong with the idea of watching a heart-warming, albeit schmaltzy rom-coms now and then. Here are a few films to start with to ease you in and prove that rom-coms can be powerful and brilliant as well as romantic and funny.
Roman Holiday (1953)
When Harry Met Sally (1989)
500 Days of Summer (2009)
Her (2013)
The Big Sick (2017)
All these movies are available to stream online. So, why not use the lockdown as an opportunity to explore the genre. Please note, in order to achieve optimum experience, you must watch the film in your most comfortable attire, and with some sweet chocolatey snacks. This is mandatory.
**No offense to the stars of the film, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is one I adore.